This past week, the current heaviness in the air of our nation had me in a serious funk. More like a steaming anger. I notice everyone feels misunderstood, if not outright unheard, & genuinely unloved. What frustrated me most was that I was beginning to lose faith that our country would ever come to an understanding & we’d continue to do damage beyond repair. I started looking for ways to piece my own hope back together but ended up lashing out, thinking that I could find my solution in trolling.
At first, I thought I was reading outright hate. As a master of sarcasm, I shot back a few times. In a moment of clarity in my anger, I sought to put myself in her place & discovered what was clearly a fresh wound. A wound we can all be sympathetic towards. A wound that leaves a deep longing for answers. Closure. Understanding. Justice. A day later my notifications brought to my attention a thoughtful, heartfelt apology and gratitude from this person who had a self realization within just 24 hours.
Change the reaction. Become more open to finding a positive solution
This is a person who let her feelings cause her to speak out of character. Her genuine remorse touched me. She understands, as we all should, that while those words are representative of her as a person, people are not likely to forget how your words make them feel.She recognized that wrongly placed emotion only causes the issue to change focus. When we change the way we react to an event, we become more open to finding a positive solution.
Pain & anger can affect even the strongest of us. We are truly no different. If we can help each other find the cause of our feelings, we would all realize that we’re only enemies if we choose to be.
After reading her personal story, I instantly messaged her to connect. We talked for days.
I even started looking more into the case to see if we could start a petition to help her family seek justice,
Identifying Hate
The conversation was fine at first. After some time her conversations got shorter, the tone in the messages changed, she eventually resorted back to "hate" & blocked me from messaging her again. I was confused & almost embarrassed. But I was also relieved that I knew exactly where she stood. I would never have to question her white silence or engage in some sort of race debate. It also satisfied me to let go of what I could not control and relieve myself of being the "ex-plainer" or even trolling the internet.
*Originally posted September 30, 2017*